Friday, July 1, 2011

Haters need hatin!

One of the highlights of my day is simply checking out all the hatin on Crossfit and Crossfitters. Its really funny shit if you haven't read it. Most of it is clever, but some of it is like Kathy Griffin's plastic surgery, it just doesn't make sense, but is filled with plenty of sarcasm. There's videos, blogs, forums, and even entire websites dedicated to hatin on Crossfit. It's getting more popular and growing faster than your upside down tomato garden. Just google "hate crossfit" and you'll pretty much get most of it. I'm seeing a trend so I anticipate more and more haters to come.

I've found of few of these groups, for instance:

Crossfit Haters group 1 are simply the ex-crossfitters turned lifters. The story starts off similar among this group. They were people who used to be fat or out of shape and by shear chance they found crossfit and got shredded. Sooner or later the testosterone button was getting pushed a little too frequently and finally they decided that met-cons are for weak ass bitches. Their only desire is to be as big, and strong, and scary as possible. They yearn to hit that high-school reunion and Hulk Smash everyone into oblivion. They enjoy only non-paleo 70s BIG meals, hard liquor, porn, non-WADA approved supplements, and yelling. They will continuously knock crossfitters as idiots in the strength department and propose their method as the one that works. I don't need to remind people that Spencer Hendel backsquats 500#+ and squat cleans 335#....yeh he should probably stop being so weak and just focus on strength.

Crossfit Haters group 2 are basically the globo fooz. Back and bi's, chest and tri's etc. You can spot em out from their torn up shirts from football glory days and they periodically will check out their nipples in the mirrors just to make sure they are hard. They don't like crossfit because it's messing with their swagger. Gym, Tan, non-laundry....cuz my smell is musky.

Crossfit Haters group 3 are simply the roided out lifters. They want to rape and pillage, pillage and rape. They wish nothing more than the end of Crossfit, and their sport of....being huge? to come to fruition. They charge ~$150-250 for a phone consult and much more if you decide to take their advice for training/nutrition. They also make fun of crossfitters paying 1k for a cert., but at the same time charge more than Bono for their time.

Crossfit Haters group 4 are actual crossfitters who hate other crossfitters.

I'm trying to figure this group out but am having a hard time understanding these people.

If you know any other haters post to comments.

1 comment: