Friday, May 27, 2011

Shrimp on Treadmills!

This is not a book review, although I am sure that the above is nothing more than a masterpiece of literary excellence and required reading for special forces deployments overseas. No this is about shrimp on treadmills. What chew say? Yup, shrimp on treadmills.
Lately, the NSF has been under fire for funding some pretty jacked up research. The most widely publicized has been the half mill funding for studying the effects of shrimp on treadmills. Now at first this seems straight up stupid and downright retarded but there is some method to the madness as I will get to.
First, as a fellow scientist I'll say that the congress thinks they know about science, but they really don't know jack shit. In fact, we ALL don't know jack shit. If we did, then we wouldn't have to do REEEESEARCH. You form a hypothesis, you test it, you get some result. Boom goes the dynamite.
Sometimes the answers are so obviously in front of our faces and sometimes it's buried in placenta elbow deep.
Second, here is a link from a Nature article published back before your parents were crappin themselves in diapers illustrating the scientific discoveries by accident. By accident you say? Why, dear sir, you must be joking?
(click on the download pdf to get the whole thing)
This is THE biggest reason to fund science no matter how crazy or stupid it sounds. The fact that curious minds are looking to find answers inherently should be supported. It may not be exactly what they were looking for but it could provide some answers to another question.
Truth is some people don't give a rats ass about science or understanding stuff, and thats ok. We won't give them money to find answers to life's questions. If they want to just shoot stuff, play with themselves, and criticize others thats cool. They'll just be existing like astronaut poop in space. Who has the right to decide what research is worth pursuing or not? Not congress, but scientists, like those at the NSF.
Lately, if you do work in science then you know that funding is tighter than fort knox. There are tons of worth while cancer projects that don;t get funded for whatever reason. Bottom line is that money is hard to come by, they are not just handing that shit out.
Sometimes, research doesn't answer something right away, like "my project will cure cancer," but it will lead to something which will lead to something else, which may cure cancer.
The shrimp on a treadmill represents an idea. Although it may be totally stupid, it may just hold an answer that could lead to something more amazing. The thing is I don't know if it will or won't and neither do you. Not every answer to curing disease is a miracle plant in the middle of the congo. Sometimes that shit is right in front of our faces and it's the basic things you need to focus on. For those who don't know alot about science, some of the greatest discoveries in cancer research in the past decades has come from yeast, zebrafish, frogs, and mice.
So before you hop on the "thats the most retarded research I have ever heard," just know that you don't know everything. If it's the money, think about this: The Hadron Collider, which may or may not provide useful information about the universe, cost $9 billion dollars.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Area 51 son!

So I watched a documentary last night on Nat Geo about the declassification of shit that went down at Area 51. Got to say that it actually made alot of sense. The sources were extremely credible and the logic fit well with what was happening at the time. Most of what area 51 consisted of, was the development of U2 spy planes, stealth technology, and nuclear testing against the Russians. The cold war was going down and we needed a super secret place to test our stuff. In fact, anytime they transported stuff at area 51 they boxed it in huge metal containers of random sizes to keep the Russians guessing as to what the hell we were up to. There is no wonder people thought flying saucers and alien bodies were being secretly transported. If you saw the pics of this stuff it really looks out of sorts. Now, I'm sure some UFO enthusiasts will argue that aliens for sure landed there and we got spacecraft galore, but it just doesn't add up. Aliens don't travel all this way to crash land and be taken away by some dumbass white guys in lab coats. I'll give them some more cred than that. I'm sure they have technology that makes cold fusion seem like an easy bake oven, and if they wanted to land a ship safely I'm sure they could do it. What the "aliens" really were according to sources from Annie Jacobsen's new Area 51 book were the result of human experiments performed by russians. Sick right? They were supposedly child-sized alien looking people (human beings) flying in a circular type craft that was meant to crash. Why crash on purpose? Well, the russians believed that the UFO craze would cause mass panic and shutdown our air-defense warning system leaving us vulnerable to nuclear attack. Silly Russians, Uncle Sizam laid the smack down! So, in the end, I don't know whats more disturbing, the truth or aliens. As long as the aliens don't probe, I'll stick with them.
As far as what area 51 is now, well, thats a different story all together.

If you got DVR or happen to flip through Nat Geo, check it out.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Movie Review and Get'n Thor'd!

Thor pretty much lived up to the hype that it was a badass movie. Sure he wasn't your favorite Marvel Superhero growing up and if you are a girl you probably never heard of him until now, but in the 21st century, CGI can make any comic book hero look the bomb digz. Now, the 3D isn't necessary, in fact, it was plain annoying. The only legit 3D effect came in the previews for Captain America when he threw his shield towards the screen. Was it worth the extra $3? I'm still debating that, but considering that $3 can get you some Snow Caps I'm leaning towards no. I don't need to tell you the plot, you can find it out on your own, but what I can tell you are a few things that didn't add up for me.

#1 Thor is cast down to earth to learn some valuable lessons that will help him if he becomes king....well apparently he figures this out in around 24hours. Either he is downright Stephen Hawking smart, or he stumbled upon dumb luck. You be the judge.

#2 He starts knocking back boilermakers with his love interest's father....and apparently never gets drunk or buzzed. He winds up carrying the father home. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd, doesn't take advantage of sleeping with Natalie Portman when she was totally asking for it. Wasn't computing for me. You have a guy that gets whats he wants when he wants and now all of a sudden the dude has manners that makes the disney channel look like hard.

#3 When Thor is cast down to earth he loses his hammer, but it happens to land in the same exact location on earth where he lands. After S.H.I.E.L.D. comes in to investigate the hammer they quarantine the whole area, but leave the center open to the sky. Wouldn't the open configuration negate the need for quarantine? I think so. The only purpose the open portion of the rig served was to introduce Hawkeye as a character in a rainy over-emotional sequence when Thor tries to pull the hammer out of the ground. All in all Hawkeye is some weak sauce and no one gives a crap about him. In fact I had to look him up just make sure he was an actual avenger. Hawkeye is like if robin had a long lost cousin who's girlfriend knew a guy that worked at Auntie Ann's pretzels with some dude that did archery....that's Hawkeye.

Anyway, besides those things I thought it was awesome. Full of action, some funny lines, and some legit stand up in your seat badass moments. Out of most marvel movies to have come out in the past several years this ranks very high among those.

However, I will say that this movie prompted the Get Thor'd lifestyle so be careful what happens with this. If you don't know what I'm saying then let me explain.

So, do you remember when you saw Fast and the Furious in the theater? And when the movie was over, everyone and their grandma was burnin rubber out of the parking lot? It's kinda like that.

I saw Thor wreck dudes, eat a box of pop tarts, drink himself stupid, and play tons of video games. Ok maybe he didnt game, but he would have if he had the xbox on hand. So, what did we do after the movie.....all those things! Keep it real and go get Thor'd.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Music, to destroy or get destroyed

So you walk into the gym ready to crush some bodyweight turkish getups and whats this? Glee? High School Musical? Wilson Phillips? All of a sudden the Suck-o-meter hits overload and you are left gasping for air on the floor. Worst part is you haven't even warmed up. Don't let this happen to you. With my definitive guide to surviving gym music you too can overcome this all too common workout killer.

Option1- Bring your own tunes and headphones

Sounds simple enough but it's not. You walk around with some headphones and now you have become that guy/girl. The anti-social person who thinks they are the shizz even though you are just trying to get into the zone. If you bring your own tunes, be prepared to crush all. It's the only way that you'll maintain any status in the gym that doesn't make you look like a douche. Also, be prepared to have your headphone cords get in your way every time you move. To practice at home simply take down your blinds, place them around your body and try to do anything at all.

Option2-Turn up the volume

If it's too loud you are too old. Even if you have to slowly die by listening to Miley Cyrus it better be so loud that you can't hear your last breath.

Option3-Come prepared

You anticipate that playing inside is in fact the dark lord's concerto number 5, also known as the Rent Soundtrack. Stay in your car.
Begin playing your power song(s) at max volume.
Perform seat reclines tabata and pullups through the sunroof. If you don't have a sunroof work on your grip by doing and undoing the parking break repeatedly. Stay in the car until you see a countdown on the clock. After which you will sprint out of the car and immediately start. You'll be so fired up that not even Kim Kardashians new hit single can keep you down.

Option4-Go faster

In it's most simple terms. The faster you go, the quicker it's over with.

The Wall

I'm Bane. Plain and simple. Whenever I need to dig deep and I need that mental boost, Bane is who I become.

People use different mechanisms to help them through physical/mental challenges. Whatever you use, well, you use something. If you are reading this than most likely you are not a person who gives up easy. It's fitting for me to picture myself as Bane in the gym because lets face it, the dude is juiced out of his mind. He crushed Batman and he has one sole purpose, to be strong as hell. More importantly it gives me a visual, a cue to that I can use. There are plenty of times in a workout or lift when your mind starts to wonder down the I can't road and it's hard to get out of it. By the time you think you can move a little faster, that bastard mind of yours comes back and crowbars your kneecaps. Motivational speakers and elite athletes will say, "just repeat that you can do it, to yourself over and over." This may work for some but I'll tell you, when I get to the wall, I'm not saying positive stuff to myself. It's just not me. I'm a visual person and you maybe too. So, for that very reason I become Bane. No different than Beyonce is Sasha Fierce, for all you single ladies. I stick to that image and I try and change my mind to think that if I was Bane, I would be crushing it right now like I did Batman. I get that fury in my eyes and the venom starts pumping through my veins. I just grab and go. Pain is Perception. Other visual cues that work could be Seal Team 6, Thor, Sonya Blade, Condoleezza Rice...etc. If you got one, share it.